


dagger through the heart

by webs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: First AO3 fic, Kind of a sickfic, M/M, Oneshot, first time writing in a while, how does this shit work, minsung - Freeform, small vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-10 03:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20128531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webs/pseuds/webs
Summary: Jisung collapses and Minho is worried out of his mind.





	1. heart was pumping, chest was screaming

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhh ok so basically this is a bit of a vent fic. I have the same problem as jisung in this fic, but less painful. My heart just starts hurting and I think I’m gonna die because hello paranoid brain. This is my first time writing since my Wattpad days (a good year ago) so it’s probably gonna be kinda crappy. Nevertheless, hope you enjoy!

It’s late at night when Jisung feels the first telltale tinges. 

He’s studying for a test that he has tomorrow, when his breathing suddenly becomes shorter, and a familiar creeping pain starts inching its way up into his chest and burrowing its way into his heart.

Not again, he thinks. 

This has been happening for months now, and always while he was under stress. His breathing would become irregular, and every inhale caused a shooting pain to run through his heart, the pain intensifying if the breaths were deeper. 

The last time this had happened was at the end of one of their concerts. He had been overworking himself for weeks before, and the concert had been the final straw for his tired heart. He had slumped against the wall and curled up on himself in one of the small bathroom stalls, knuckles turning white as he clamped them over his mouth to prevent his whimpers of pain from escaping while the shooting pain wracked his heart. 

Being the anxious kid he was, this inability to breathe deeply would cause him to breathe quicker, causing more pain, leading to more breathing, leading to a nervous breakdown. 

It was almost akin to drowning. 

Sure enough, the pain starts slowly but surely intensifying as the rapper’s brain starts to race. Paranoia was one of the worst parts of this whole ordeal. It was always the same thoughts every time: I don’t want to die. Is this how I’m going to leave? I have so much left I want to do. I want to live I want to live I want to live-

Jisung drops to his knees, face contorting, clutching his chest with both hands and knocking over a couple of heavy textbooks that were balanced on the edge of his desk in the process. They make a loud banging sound as they crash to the floor. He doesn’t care. The only thing he can focus on is the stabbing pain in his chest and the thoughts that are still running around his head, taking over his mind. 

IwanttoliveIwanttoliveIwanttoliveIwanttoli-

“JISUNG!”

His train of thought is brought to a screeching halt as an agitated voice rips through his trance. In the midst of his agony, he squints and sees Minho running to his side and dropping to his knees beside him, a terrified expression on his face. In that moment, Jisung’s body seems to lose all energy and simply slumps to the floor, searing pain continuing to ravage his body.  
He watches as Minho squeezes his limp hand with one hand, and yanks his phone out of his pocket with another. He dials a short number, and begins speaking frantically with the person on the line. Ambulance, Jisung supposes. 

The call ends and Minho drops his phone on the ground, taking Jisung’s clammy hand in both of his. Even through the haze of white hot pain, Jisung makes the observation that his hyung, as usual, is such a cool guy. As expected. 

He becomes strangely calm as he starts to slip under while his hyung talks to him, fast words he can’t seem to be able to comprehend. Unable to understand anything, he instead focuses on the older man’s face. Minho’s eyes are so pretty. Like the colour of rich dark chocolate. Why has he never noticed this? Maybe relinquishing one’s life with this sight in front of him isn’t so bad.


	2. and oh, I gotta keep, keep on breathin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung wakes up and Minho becomes sane again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this turned out super long whoops uwu blame hyunjin's surprise appearance not me 
> 
> don't assume i know what a hospital looks like pls, this lazy ass hoe can't be bothered to do her research, also this chapter should be called 'writer doesn't know how to write about feelings cause of her stone cold dead heart'
> 
> this was written at like,,., 00:30 and finished around 2 so I apologise for any grammar/spelling mistakes, and these notes are probaby gonna sound like im on crack. on a side note the ao3 autocorrect seems to think that everything with a british spelling ought to be wiped off the face of the earth

Jisung wakes up to an alarm.

Or at least what sounds like an alarm. The maddening, incessant beeping of whatever the noise's origin is was not unlike his own wretched alarm clock in the dorm. God, he hates that thing.

He has to squint to accommodate the light flooding into his vision as his eyes crack open. Stretching out the cricks in his arms and back, the rapper takes in his surroundings. He assumes he's in some kind of medical facility. Stark white walls, hordes of fancy-looking machines leaving wires draped around, and a blueish curtain about a metre away from the bed he's lying on, obstructing his view to everything else. Hospital, he thinks to himself. Why am I here?

It all comes back to him at that moment. His pseudo-heart attack, the intense burning pain that accompanied it. Falling to the floor in complete and utter agony before being found by... Minho. Minho calling the ambulance service, panic prominent in his voice before trying to get Jisung to stay awake, stay conscious, stay with him. Even in his lethargic state, he still remembers his hyung's horror at finding him, his desperation as he held Jisung's hand in a vice-like grip, like he was trying to keep the younger grounded. 

Now that he thinks about it, he's never seen his hyung quite so terrified. It's justifiable, he supposes. Finding your best friend curled up on the floor in pain would hardly be an event to be composed about. But still, even though Minho probably reacted in the same way that any other one of the members would have, he can't help but feel... touched? It's an odd emotion. He feels happy that his hyung cares about him like that. Makes him feel loved, in a way.

As Jisung is contemplating, the curtain is pulled back with a soft swoosh, revealing one of his hyungs. Hyunjin. Jisung props himself up and manages a small smile, despite the uncomfortable ache he feels in his bones.

"Hi, hyung" he manages to utter.

Hyunjin walks up to his bed, and plonks himself down on an uncomfortable-looking plastic chair positioned by a heart monitor. So that was the source of the beeping. It was odd that he hadn't noticed it until he had been pulled from his thoughts.

"You worried us, you doofus" Hyunjin says with a smile. Jisung feels the atmosphere lift and shows a genuine grin to the older rapper. He liked that Hyunjin could lighten the mood in any situation, even one like this. The elder dropped something onto Jisung's lap. A slice of cheesecake in a clear plastic box. The younger feels like crying and hugging his angel at the same time.

"It was originally for me, but since you haven't eaten anything for three days, I'll make an exception."

Jisung's eyes widen as he chews the soft sweet. 3 days? That's 4 missed exams. He's gonna have a hell of a lot of work to catch up on once he's been discharged.

"Don't tell me you're thinking about work, please" Hyunjin sighs, reading the expression on the younger rapper's face. "I don't think a few skipped days of school matter, and I'm sure they'll take into account the fact that you've literally been hospitalized"

"But I've missed so many lessons, and the tests-"

His rambling is cut off as Hyunjin shoves the cheesecake into his mouth, giving him a warning glare. Jisung obliges meekly, shutting up and finishing off the dessert. 

"Look, all you're going to be doing for the next week is resting. The whole reason you collapsed was because of stress and overwork. No late night homework sessions, no dance practice, nothing. You're going to stay at home and do whatever it is boys at your age do."

"You're literally six months older than me-"

Jisung is cut off once again by Hyunjin shoving a finger to his lips.

"Bottom line is, you aren't gonna do any work for a week. Can't have you collapsing on us again. We were all really worried. Especially one."

Jisung tilts his head slightly at the last comment the elder makes. Odd.

Hyunjin's phone rings and he looks at the screen, a slight smile growing on his face.

"Ah, speak of the devil" he says mysteriously. He pushes the chair back and stands up, the plastic legs making a horrible screeching sound on the white linoleum floor. "I've got to go now, but someone else will be up here soon. Don't be too lonely without me!"

"Bye" Jisung laughs.

Sauntering off, the rapper finally silences the annoying ringtone and answers the call. Jisung picks up words like "talked to him" and "he's fine" as Hyunjin disappears down what seems to be a hallway. 

Ten minutes later, Jisung is close to dozing off again. The doctor had been in earlier, explained why he collapsed, discussed his medications and other boring medical things that Jisung couldn't wrap his drowsy brain around. He would handle it later when he was fully awake and actually capable of engaging in normal human conversation. The doctor seemed to have understood that and thankfully left him alone. Now he's on the verge of dropping off again when a familiar swoosh sounds from the front of his bed. He half expects it to be the doctor again, but what he sees is immensely better. 

Minho stands in front of him, a look of absolute relief on his face. He half smiles at Jisung before rushing forward and enveloping the younger in a bone-crushingly tight hug.

Jisung stays stiff in shock, but soon relaxes and winds his arms tight round his hyung's neck. He can't imagine 3 days of not showering smells very pleasant, but Minho smells like fresh laundry and lavender and he loves it. Jisung leans deeper into the warm body that surrounds him, feeling safe and loved.

They pull away after a minute or so. Minho looks sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.

"Uh, sorry if that was weird. I-I kinda missed you"

A pale pink dusts over his cheeks, and Jisung thinks it's so, so cute.

"I missed you too silly. Even though I was unconscious. I was probably missing you. Subconsciously or some shit."

Minho laughs at Jisung's confusing statement. He sits down in the plastic chair, looking at Jisung as he's afraid he will have another mini heart attack.

"I was so worried about you. Heard a bang coming from your room, went to check and you were on the floor in agony. I don't think I've ever felt as panicked before. And then you just passed out. I think I nearly passed out as well."

Jisung giggles at his confession.

"And, uh, I kinda made a discovery about myself when you were hospitalized. It's a really weird way of finding out, I guess, but this whole ordeal made me realise that maybe I, uh"

Minho looks to the ground blushing, and fiddles with his fingers, a habit he's had ever since they were trainees and he was feeling extremely nervous. He sits up and looks Jisung directly in the eyes. It's now the younger's turn to blush, face heating up as Minho fixes him with an intense gaze.

"That maybe I like you more than a normal friend would. I can't believe I'm saying this in this kind of situation, but I want to get it out. Jisung, I know it sounds crazy, but I think I like you. In a not-friend way."

Jisung's mind is in shock. His already frazzled brain almost can't comprehend what Minho has just said to him. Strangely, his mind seems to have enough energy to feel unusually elated, and he looks at the older with a mixture of embarassment and confusion.

"Wow, this is a weird situation. I, uh" 

Jisung picks at his nails while he mumbles.

"I think I like you too? I don't really know? I've never really felt like this before. It's all just a bit confusing. Sorry"

The younger looks up in surprise as he's engulfed in his second hug of the day. He's starting to quite enjoy this. Tightening his arms around the older singer, he leans comfortably on his chest.

"Thanks for not brushing it off" Minho whispers. "I know it's a lot to take in. But we can figure this out together. Like we always do. Right?"

And in that moment, Jisung feels happier than he has in a while. Smiling, he touches his lips to Minho's, for barely a fraction of a second. 

Leaning his forehead against the older's he looks into Minho's eyes and feels indescribably warm. Barely audibly, he whispers:

"Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tldr: they end up confessing just after jisung has woken up after a 3 day nap
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed!
> 
> i recently started a skz fan acc on twitter: https://twitter.com/jisungdioxide come hmu and we can scream about wow by 3racha or how underrated day6 are
> 
> also...,,should i write more fanfics? i mentioned before that i haven't written in like a year, but i can see some improvements in my writing, so if y'all want i could write another one of these shits
> 
> ok hope to see u guys later wink wonk


End file.
